Iceberg Compromises

In a peak lunch hour on a busy business street, I’m rushing to McD to fill my poor appetite… I had 15 minutes before the session started and this was the only place which I knew around the corner. I haven’t eaten in the last 24 hrs, I was sleep deprived and i'm now gearing up to talk for the next 3 hours continous!!  But was this really me???  I was never a workaholic or never intended to be one. But this time, I had skipped a day without a meal just coz of work! The body had drained out but the mind was still trying to gain focus for the work ahead.

The place was crowded but luckily they gave me my bite in a quickie!! Hooked in a corner of the restaurant, I was looking all around… as I was dumping the burger in!  The place had beautiful sparrows and at a distant, my eyes crossed a poster which said ‘Do not feed birds’. I just felt that the birds are in fact better off without this junk food! But the people were eating their burgers like how we ate a dum biryani!! Or at least that’s how it seemed to me. I ate it without a choice and rushed back to the client’s office in time.

The 701 had played a spoil sport in the last minute for me. Not a girl but a ThinkPad that had left me starving and sleepless!  The first time I saw this machine, it almost looked like a portable desktop and everyone in the office nicknamed it as ‘The Monster’.  I was happy in a way that it grabbed some attention everywhere.  But looks are often deceiving, even if it was just a computer!!  It was falling sick quite often and I had to treat it with lotsa care! Do all that I could, to make the monster work for me (like Rajini’s taxi in padikadhavan!). It’s not all about mechanics and electronics that makes computers work every time my friend…. if you know what I really mean? If you were an engineer to the core probably i can't make you buy that! But at last I was pitying my own condition here, which has brought me to an extent where i was embracing this monster ever day!!

Hyper V, Active Directory, Domain Controller, Group policy, SQL Server, SCCM..… Hold on, I know how this might sound to you, coz this would have sounded the same way to me 3 months back. But now I had little or no choice, but to know all of them! The 701 was running all of them virtually in one box!  An MCSE would sense the complexity in this, but for the rest of us this is just like mixing up screenplays of 10 movies, novels and short stories together and still telling the story right! If you still couldn’t imagine, you ought to try it now. But my bad… the monster wasn’t telling the story when I really wanted. The machine was just perfect when I started travelling but somehow got messed up here. Broke at a place where I barely knew anyone except for the smiling receptionist from the lobby!  

Day 1..... I have no hope to fix this…….Day 2….. A little effort might help….…. Day 3….… OMG I lost my sleep…… Day 4…… It’s now or never!!  I remember reading from somewhere that when you really want something to happen, even the oceans part away or the clouds open up! That’s way too elusive, but in my case I was able to sense the grip in the last moment. I had continuously burned my shell for 12 hrs to break this and finally it worked! The clock struck 4AM when I finally hit the bed.  Not a sense of accomplishment but just a sigh of relief came from me!

Just another hectic day for work, but I know each of us have our busy days at work and we are slogging one day or the other.  But the real question is…. after all the hardship, when we finally get some breather. For a quick second spare a thought on what you accomplished and if it really matters and makes sense to your desire? It makes us realize that we had totally lost track of what we expected to be a few years ago! We did take those unexpected turns in our life as a youngster for which we have made weird compromises every now and then! 

Joining an IT Company soon after college and in a few years, you could start hearing these dialogues quite often. (Just from my exp or a friend’s exp…. NOM)

Relatives 

‘Enna pa onsite aedhum varalaya?’ (Haven’t you got an onsite offer yet?)

// This one was ultimate...


IBM ah…???  En pa Infosys madiri nalla company kedaikaliya?   (People made comments on your job even if they barely knew about IT)  :D

Friends 

 ‘Indha cycle’la rating enna machi’ (Getting promoted??)’

 ‘Machi idhu vaelaiku aagadhu… CAT/ GRE/ GMAT ezhudhalam’nu irukan’ (The job doesn’t work out for me, I’m gonna attempt for higher studies)

Dad/Mom 

‘Dei….  un mama paiyan i10 vangirukaan da’ (Ur cousin has just bought a car… are you worth for anythin at all?? )

‘Ponnu veetla un CTC enna’nu kaetkaranga da (The alliances are asking for your CTC… // they don’t stop with salary details anymore)

Now don’t go wild on me for putting this up, ‘naanum idhula sikkuna oru aadu dhan’ J  But the truth is, at some point of time we slog not just for ourselves but for those people’s impression on us!!  If not for the direct correlation to an incident, we still feel these effects from the happenings around us. We Push hard for an Onsite or think about an overseas degree, work abroad. With sacrifices and commitments on one hand we take a whooping housing/education loan on the other!! Buy a Flat in a Chennai/B’lore in a few more years…. and finally get married. The last two can happen interchangeably depending on your conviction level! But whichever is the case, the only difference is that you either slog as a lone warrior or slog with a companion!

A few years back, you might have had the chance of hearing me … never compromise on food, sleep and some quality time for friends and family. Looked so simple and easy in our good old times, but this is not how things seem to work in the swirl that has caught us! The conscious of leaving behind our family, friends, festivals, traditions and most importantly our motherland is slowly beaten to death! We never stuck to an ideology coz we have factored for a much bigger commitment and unfortunately it makes us think that we have no time for leaving a legacy behind!

We all have our huge iceberg compromises which are often unnoticed.  Or in other words we are afraid of noticing them just for the fear of regretting.   We get used to things and say that in a better term ‘Got accustomed’. The iceberg might wanna melt sometime, though the chances are feeble at our age. But if it ever did, just follow your heart!! 

I knew it after this movie...

Movies are my favorite pastime.  Apart from entertainment they have shown me the different worlds.  It has shown me people, places, cultures, lifestyle and more. These are things that I wouldn’t have known if not for the movies. Might sound like an over exaggeration, but then you got to read through to understand what I mean.

Indian Motorcycle

When I first saw the title “The world’s fastest Indian”, I didn’t have the slightest clue that Indian could mean a motorcycle! Moreover I did have a huge fascination for cruiser bikes but some how never came across it. The only motorcycle that I knew to be iconic was the Harley Davidson. But the truth is, the Indian is considered more exclusive and costlier than the Harley’s! We wouldn’t get to completely understand its grace. Probably it’s the Americans who knew the Indian better!

Wine Tasting

Sideways is a must watch for wine lovers. If you aren’t one, you could still get to see the magic and passion in a glass of wine. I believe that only the French have a real taste for it since its been a part of their lifestyle for ages. And for the rest (most) of us, we never knew that tasting wine was such an art; People look for color, smell and a lot more before they make a choice. There are a numerous other ways of tasting wine and seeing how they do it could drive us nuts. But it really is a huge business by itself. A lot of wine evaluators have made a fortune out of it. Though not my cup of tea (wine), to my content I would wish to taste a Bordeaux some time :)

Frog rain

The screenplay of Magnolia had to loosely connect a lot of smaller plots. Not an easy task but was done with great excellence. Everything was fine until this scene of frog rain that came in. I was wondering like the rest of the audience,  what went wrong with the director here!! I later went on to dig about it and found that it has happened a lot many times in our human history! A lot of possible reasons were given and the most convincing to me  was this... Its a tornado that picks up frogs and other smaller objects from a lake and drops it over a distant place.

Travelling Twins

Contact is my favorite Sci-Fi film to date, an adaptation from a book of the same name. The story revolves around a scientist who is curious to reach out and make contact with Extra Terrestrial life. And there is this particular scene where Jodie Foster talks to her friend before she makes her travel on the space ship. Interestingly they talk about the relativity of time. By then I understood how bad I was in my Science basics! It goes some thing like this, as Jodie makes her trip at a speed close to that of light, what seems like a few days on the space ship would relatively be years on earth.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/einstein/hotsciencetwin/

Monty Hall Problem

Life is full of chances and we tend to pick one over the other without a rational mind. But there is a time when we need some logic for our actions; at least that’s what the sensible do. There is a scene from the movie 21 about the famous Monty hall problem. It took a little time to understand the concept of Variable change but then the fundamentals seem quite clear though it expands to a lot of other areas to compute the odds of an event. It kindles your interest towards Math, on the contrary it just did a little for me coz I’m the kind who fears Math... even more than science :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXqDIFUB7YU

படித்ததில் பிடித்தது - நான் வீழ்வேனென்று நினைத்தாயோ?

தேடிச் சோறுநிதந் தின்று - பல சின்னஞ் சிறுகதைகள் பேசி -
மனம் வாடித் துன்பமிக உழன்று - பிறர் வாடப்பலசெயல்கள் செய்து -
நரை கூடிக் கிழப்பருவ மெய்தி - கொடுங்கூற்றுக் கிரையெனப்பின் மாயும் -
பல வேடிக்கை மனிதரைப் போலே - நான் வீழ்வேனென்று நினைத் தாயோ?

நின்னைச் சில வரங்கள் கேட்பேன் - அவைநேரே இன்றெனக்குத் தருவாய் -
என்றன் முன்னைத் தீயவினைப் பயன்கள் - இன்னும் மூளாதழிந்திடுதல் வேண்டும் -
இனி என்னைப் புதிய உயிராக்கி - எனக்கேதுங்கவலையறச் செய்து -
மதிதன்னை மிகத் தெளிவு செய்து - என்றும் சந்தோஷங்கொண்டிருக்கச் செய்வாய்!

 - சுப்பிரமணிய பாரதி

அம்மா

ஓர் அதிகாலை வேலை, தீக்கிரயக்கிய உடலுடன் என் தாய் ஆஸ்பத்திரி கட்டிலில் துடித்து கொண்டிருந்தாள். அறையிலும், வெராண்டாவிலும் யாரும் இல்லை.  எங்கும் நிசப்த்தமாய் இருக்க, வலுவற்ற நிலையில் என்னை கை அசைத்து அழைத்தாள். மெதுவாய் அவள் அருகே சென்றேன்.  தாங்க முடியாத வலியின் வேதனையை அவள் முகத்தில் உணர முடிந்தது. நான் படுத்து உறங்கிய மடியின் மேல் தோல் கருகி, இரத்த கலரியாய் கிடந்தது. ஏதோ சொல்லி என்னை ஆசுவாச படுத்த முயற்ச்சித்தாள். எனக்கு அப்போது பண்ணிரண்டு வயது, அவள் மன ஒட்டத்தை முழுதாய் அறிந்து கொள்ள முடியவில்லை. தான் இந்த கட்டத்தை விட்டு மீளப்போவதில்லை என்பதை எப்படியோ அறிந்திருந்தாள். தன் கடமையை பாதியில் முடித்துக்கொள்ளவும் துணிந்துதுவிட்டாள். அப்பா, அக்கா, நான் என மூவரும் செய்வதற்க்கறியா திக்கற்ற நிலையில் நின்றோம்.

மாமா வந்துவிட்டார். என்னால் மீன்டும் சுவாசிக்க முடிந்தது. அது வரையில் இருந்த பீதி சற்றே விலகியது. பிரச்சனைகளின் போது அவரின் வருகை எவ்வளவு முக்கியம் என்று அவர் நினைத்தாரோ தெரியவில்லை… ஆனால் அதை விட பல மடங்கு அதிகமாய் எங்கள் மனம் அதை வேண்டிக்கொண்டிருக்கும். அம்மாவின் உடல் நிலை என்றுமே ஒர் நிலையில் இருந்ததில்லை. பல முறை மயங்கிவிழுவாள், மூச்சு விட முடியமல் திணறுவாள், இதற்கெல்லாம் மேல் அப்பாவுடன் அவ்வப்போது சண்டை வேறு! எல்லா சமையங்களிலும் மாமாவின் உந்துதல் எங்களுக்கு தேவைப்பட்டிருக்கிறது. ஒவ்வொரு முறையும் தன் வேலையை விட்டு வந்து நிற்பதற்க்கு, சகோதரி பாசம் மட்டுமே காரணமாய் இருந்திருக்க முடியாது.

மனிதாபிமானம் என்பது கடைச்சரக்காகி போன இக்காலத்தில், எதையுமே எதிர்ப்பார்த்தே கொடுப்பதை பற்றி யோசிக்கும் உலகமிது. இதில் எந்த ஒரு நிலைமையிலும் கடமையை ஆற்றும் மனநிலையை எனக்கு வாழ்ந்து காட்டினார். கூட பிறந்த ஆறு சகோதரிகளையும் திருப்தி படுத்த அவர் ப்ரஹ்மப்ரய்த்தனை செய்ய வேண்டியிருக்கும். சலிக்காமல் செய்தும் ஏதேனும் ஒரு குறை கூறுவர்...என் அம்மா உட்பட!! குடும்பத்தில் திருமணம், வலைகாப்பு, குழந்தை பிறத்தல் , மஞ்சள் நீர், கிரஹப்ரவேஸம் என ஏதற்க்கும் அவரை விட்டு வைத்ததில்லை. ஆனாள் சுகமான சுமைகள் ஏன அணைத்துக்கும் முன் நின்றார். உறவுகளின் பெருமை அறிந்து, காலம் முழுக்க இப்படியே வாழ அவருக்கு எழுதி வைக்கப்பட்டிருக்கிறது போலும்.

அம்மா எனக்கு சோறூட்டினாள், பாடம் சொல்லித்தந்தாள், தூங்க வைத்தாள், அறவனைத்தாள், எனக்காக கண்ணீர் விட்டாள். இவை அத்தனைக்கும் சேர்த்து எந்த ஒரு ப்ரதி உபகாரமும் செய்ய முடியா வயதில் என்னை தனியே விட்டு உயிர் நீத்தாள். இப்பொது இரத்தமும் சதையுமாய் என் கண்ணில் நின்ற என் தாயை இடுகாட்டில் கிடத்தி தீ வைத்தேன். சடங்கு முடிந்து வீட்டுக்கு வந்ததும் எனக்கு இருந்த வெருமை என் வாழ்வில் வேறெப்போதும் உணர்ந்ததில்லை . இனி வாழ்க்கை பழைய படி இருக்கதென்பது மட்டும் புரிந்தது. என் பண்ணிரண்டு வயதில் என் பால காண்டம் முடிவுற்றது.

அம்மா இறந்த ஒரே ஆண்டிற்குள் அப்பா மருமணம் செய்தார். அக்காவும் நானும் ஒப்புதல் தராதது ஒரு பெரிய பொருட்டாய்  தெரியவில்லை. அம்மாவின் நிலையில் வேறொருவரை காண சொல்லி திணித்தார்கள். என் பிடிவாதத்தின் உச்சத்தையும் காட்ட நேர்ந்தது.  இத்தனைக்கும் அவர்களுடன் இருந்த கொஞ்ச நாட்களில் சித்தி கொடுமை ஏதும் கூட அரங்கேறவில்லை. என் மேல் எவ்வளவு கரிசனை காட்டியும் ஏனோ என் மூலைக்குள் அது இறங்கவில்லை. ஒர் இழப்பு என் நெஞ்சை கல்லாக்கியிருந்தது. என்னுடைய வீடு என்னதாக தோன்றவில்லை. அம்மா இல்லாத பிள்ளை என பரிவு காட்டிய சொந்தங்கள் யாரும் அறவணைத்துக்கொள்ள தயாராயில்லை, மாமாவை தவிர! அதற்காக யாரையும் நான் குறை கூறவுமில்லை. அவரவர்களின் வாழ்க்கை நிலை அப்படி. விதி விலக்காய் வாழும் இவரை பொதுப்படை உதாரணமாக்குவது நியாயம் இல்லை தான். ஏதோ ஒரு பேரு பெற்று, என் வாழ்வின் இரண்டாம் அத்தியாயம் மாமாவின் வீட்டில் தொடங்கிற்று.

எல்லோரும் போல் எனக்கும் ஒர் குடும்ப சூழ்நிலை கிடைக்கவில்லை. ஒரு வேலை அப்பா, அம்மா, அக்காவின் சுற்றத்திலேயே வளர்ந்திருந்தாள் நான் வேரொருவனாக வார்க்க பட்டிருப்பேனோ என்று எண்ணியதுண்டு. நண்பர்கள் வீட்டில் அதை பார்க்கும்போது மட்டும், சில நொடிகள் அந்த எண்ணம் மேலெழும். ஆனால் எந்தவொரு குறையும் தெரியாமலேயே தான் வளர்ந்தேன். அம்மாவின் நிலையில் அக்காவும் மாமியும் இருந்து, பல நேரங்களில் பித்து பிடித்த என்னை மனிதனாய் மாற்றி இருக்கிறார்கள். நான் செய்த பிழைகளை நெலிவு சுளிவடன் உணர்த்த அவசியம் இல்லாத போதும், என் மனம் நோகவிட்டதில்லை!  எதை இழந்தேன் என தெரியவில்லை ஆனால் இங்கு நான் பார்த்த அன்பும் , கற்ற பாடங்களும் நிறைய. அம்மாவிற்கு பிறகு தொடங்கிய இந்த காலம் இதை…. "இதுவும் நண்மைக்கே" என என்மனம் ஏறத்தாழ ஒப்புக்கொண்டுவிட்டது.

அம்மாவை பற்றி எழுத நினைத்தேன். இங்கு வழி மாறி மாமாவை பற்றிய புராணமே வந்து கொண்டிருக்கிறது! காரணம் இல்லாமல் இல்லை. எஞ்சியுள்ள வாழ்வில் நான் அவருக்கு பட்ட கடணை அடைக்க முடியாது, எண்ணியாவது பார்க்கிறேன். நான் கொண்டிருக்கும் அன்பு கைமாறக தோன்றுவது, என்றுமே அவர் காட்டுவதை விடவும் தாழ்ந்தது தான். என் தாய்மாமன் பெருமை சொல்லி புரிவதற்க்கில்லை,  உரிமை கொண்டாடுவதை தவிர அன்பு காட்டிட எனக்கு வேறொரு வழியுமில்லை.

சின்னஞ்சிறு வயதில் எது சரி எது தவறு ஏன திட்டவட்டமாய் கூற தெரிந்தது. அப்பா செய்தது தவறு என்று உறுதியாய் நம்பிய காலம் ஒன்று இருந்தது. ஆனால் வயது கூட கூட, அந்த கோடுகள் மெல்ல அழிய தொடங்கி விட்டன. தன் வாழ்க்கை என்ன என்பதை ஒவ்வொருத்தருமே தேர்வு செய்துகொள்ளும் சுதந்திரம் உண்டு. ஆக இதில் நானும் அக்காவும் இல்லாத வாழ்க்கையை, என் அப்பாவேதான் தேர்வு செய்திருகிறார். ஆனால் எந்த நிலையிலும் எங்களை அவர் உதறவில்லை, நாங்களாகவே தான் விலகி நின்றோம். அதன் காயங்களை அவர் சுமக்க, எங்கள் வடுக்களை நாங்கள் சுமக்கிறோம். காலம் இந்த காயங்களை மெதுவே ஆற வைத்திருக்கிறது. இந்நாளில் வயதின் முதிர்ச்சியால், வாழ்கையை பற்றிய கண்ணோட்டம் சற்றே மாறியும் இருக்கிறது. சுற்றும் முற்றும் மனிதர்கள் வாழும் வாழ்க்கை முறைகளை பார்க்கையில், பெரிய கோட்டின் அருகே சிறிய கோடாய் நான் பட்டது அவ்வளவு மோசமாகவும் தெரியவில்லை.  தூக்கம் வராத பல இரவுகளில் நெருடலுடன் என்னை நானே கேட்டு கொள்ளும் கேள்வி. “தவறாகவே இருக்கட்டும், அப்பாவை மன்னிக்கும் மனப்பக்குவம் வந்துவிட்டதா?”… மனதார சொல்வேன் “ஆம்” என்று.

Favorite Actor Duos

Guys have a lot of time for useless things and one such thing that I did was to make note of the movies that I watched and to give them ratings. Now it looks like a mini SMDB…. Srini’s movie database! :) The leisurely hobby continued for so long and now it’s been over a 1000 flicks (not inclusive of Indian movies). Just like every movie lover I started of with action, thrillers and comedy. But over the years the taste has changed; back then classics like Casablanca or Lawrence of Arabia was a tiresome watch. I always had to hold on to the remote and be ready with the forward button!! There was no conversation for so long. But these days, things seem to have changed. Cannes or Academy nominations make a lot more sense to me.


Choosing a good movie was such a tough ask. Having so many out there, I really don’t want to waste my time watching a crap. I would rather spend some time reading the plot, review and also ensure that it has a good rating. But you can’t do that always… !! We do miss the suspense factor, right?? There is a whole lot of a difference in knowing or not knowing if this is gonna be a great movie. So how nice it would be to walk in and just watch your favorites director or star's flick. Not worrying about the plot or how good the movie is, just watch it for the directing excellence or for the actor’s presence. Here are few of those actors that I would watch without a question. The Legendary duos, as I call


De Niro- Al Pacino

Who wouldn’t adore the young Don and Michael corleone?? A few guys would love at least one, but for the rest (most) of us just love them both. They have had a remarkable start with ‘The Godfather’ and have come a long way since then. For time and again they have made a lasting impression with some awe-inspiring performances. The insanity of power in ‘Scarface’ or a conceited blind man in ‘Scent of a woman’ the Italian does nothing less than perfect. Not every actor looks great when they show off anger. But for al pacino, he has always carried an angry man’s charm! The one thing that makes him special.


To me, the only worthy comparison of his times is Robert De niro. I would even watch a whole movie to just see his cameo. The raw emotions of a boxer in “Raging bull” or a fiery gangster in “The untouchables”, he has set clear benchmarks for the new age actors to learn! But luckily he has been a Scorsese hero and clearly has some unfair advantage :) All the eight movies that they have worked together are one of its kind and a few the greatest of all times. Wish Di Caprio could keep up those standards and does a good job as a Scorsese Hero!


Sharukh – Aamir

Unlike an actor duo like before, I would rather call this is an Actor-Star duo. Now don’t question if this is worth a pick after talking about the previous pair. We cherish what we have and these stars are special in their own way! No Hollywood actor can act, dance, fight and entertain Indian audience! :) Even Jackie chan stepped down to Kamal on that grounds. We do have some great actors. Not to mention who is the better actor here, Aamir surpasses the feet by a long way. But despite the fact, sharukh has reached the pinnacle of stardom. Though we wish to see more of his acting like in ‘Chak de’ and ‘Swades’, he guarantees a movie with some awesome entertainment. 


On the other hand Aamir has evolved a lot from a sweet lover boy to a visionary to Indian film. With ‘Dil Chahta Hai’ and ‘Rang de basanti’, he has made it to the status of a living idol to the young bloods in north India. Daring to experiment more than any other star, evident in his directorial debut "Tare Zameen Par". I never understood a Hindi film better, without knowing Hindi!! :) And after watching the movie, I walked away with a heavy heart and also noticed that everyone walked out the same way.  Like everyone wanted a teacher who would have changed their lives! And I wonder if anyone else could bring such an effect with a happy ending climax.


Rajini – Kamal

Kamal once said ‘Devar Magan’ without Sivaji would have been soulless! And to me… Tamil cinema without Kamal is just the same. There wouldn’t be one soul that wasn’t moved by his performances. Fifty years of acting and he’s still not tired! No actor has been here for so long with as many milestones. The peak of all was ‘Nayagan’. A Tamil movie in the Time 100 is just more than a Oscar to us!! And he is the complete meaning for versatility when it comes to movie making. An actor, dancer, lyricist, director, writer and I don’t think there is a department where he hasn’t had his hands on.


Finally… coming on to ‘Thalaivar’. Its so hard to put it in words the adulation and love we have for him. We forget reality and get sublimed to his on screen presence and charisma. No matter what he does we would watch with our jaws open, a gift that only he enjoys! If anyone else does his crazy stunts, we would tear the screens apart! :)  But not for him, not for Rajnikanth! Because in Popular Tamil Culture, he is more than just an actor. He has been a phenomenon of my time. I really lost count of watching ‘’Thalapathi”, but for sure its over a hundred!! Yet most people don’t recognize his acting skills to this date. Wish they watch ‘Mullum Malarum’ before criticizing anymore. He is an all capable actor who shed his true color just to entertain the masses. And he has successfully done it for decades. Even at his age, kids fantasize him in the recent Shankar films. There are superstars all over the history but not anyone is on par to his die-hard fan following. The only thing we regret about him is the false hopes he set on politics! Except for that he is flawless as an ‘entertainer’.

Feel Home

We close our eyes and see a picture of friends and family in our best times. The picture stays so long and its a bitter pill to accept the reality. It’s so hard for us to see the changes of life as they happen. Girls get married; Guys are chasing careers in the Metros or Overseas. There are literally none of our buddies back in our hometowns. Each one lives in a different part of the world. Things seem to gradually fade as they rarely get in touch with us. But as friends we are not meant to demand but understand each other!! Everyone goes through those phases and we are in each other’s shoes sometime.

But what is it to our Dad’s and Mom’s at home?? Err… they said all is well the last time I spoke to them; in fact they say it every time I speak to them! So was this the way when we were back at home? NO, not really. Something somewhere goes wrong every now and then. Unfortunate events happen. Parents get sick, Siblings meet with accidents and Relatives are dead! We wouldn’t know what’s really happening as they don’t want us to know all of it. Because be it New York or Bangalore, we are just not with them and they are too cautious about saying anything that worries us. It continues for years as we keep chasing our career and aspirations so hard and by the end of it we have to regret for leaving our families behind.


Diwali, Christmas or Ramzan is just another day in all our lives now. Not everyone knows the struggle of calculating every dime and minute to make a trip back home! Visa status, vacation leave, project deadline, graduation, summer elective what not? Life seems to get busy and we forget our regular calls, miss weddings, funerals, anniversaries and birthdays. And all that takes is just a “Sorry” to move on. But in most times it’s quite hard to understand what the people at home go through. Depending on the kind of relationship, we seldom try to make an effort to make them feel better. 

So finally I get to those NRI’s (Non-returning Indians).  A lot of them have made a decision to stay out of their home country even before they stepped in their foreign lands. That’s awesome!! Thanks to Hollywood and western music!! A handful is able to see a home away from home too. Now what does that supposed to mean??? I don’t buy it. The morning bed coffee, the affection when they served my breakfast, the care when I got sick, a casual talk at the dinner table, the open mockery at each other, the laughter with hearts out, dropping my little sis at school to see her wave, chatting for long hours with uncle, taking aunt to the temple, driving my bike in the lonely nights, the useless hours with buddies at "beach" and a lot more is needed to make me feel home! So now I’ve got to either envy them for being able to make a home anywhere they live or pity them for having forgotten what a real home feels like.

Guess a few would start grudging now :) So I better stick with ‘Envy’. But the point is spare a thought on things that matter the most. There’s more to life than just a career. There are things that could make us regret later in our life. After all life doesn’t have a rewind button!

The not so “People's Republic”

The Great Wall of China is a perfect symbol for China, for one reason. It stands tall and high but the world wouldn’t know how many lives went under it.  Guess I need a disclaimer now :) I have nothing personal against the country or its people. In fact I admire it as one of the greatest civilization and for its great tradition and history. But for a long time, the Tibetan story has been telling a different story to the world. There is a sense that an ordinary Tibetan doesn’t live a usual life like the rest of us! 

Happen to watch ‘Kundun’, an other masterpiece from Scorsese. The story revolves around the 14^th Dalai Lama from his childhood to the time when he fled Tibet. He’s now on his exile and it’s been over 50 years since he saw his motherland.  I dug a little more into some of his interviews and a few documentaries. The situation has been worse at times and broke an uprising in Tibet. The most recent was the 2008 riots. But unfortunately we would never know what really happened because the foreign media, even those form Honk Kong were not allowed to enter the region. And quite obviously the domestic media has widely downplayed the scene!

The people have gone through tragic phases in their lives right from the times of the Chinese invasion. Monastery’s were bombed, Monks were killed, people were made to fornicate on the streets. Children were handed guns and were made to kill their parents! So all this just seems to be happening over and over in all parts of the world. But for different reasons! Now there is no point in pitying the Chinese for the Nanking massacre. The Japanese did it to the Chinese and now the Chinese do it to the Tibetans! 

“Religion is poison” - Mao

I don’t know how many people will agree to that. But that’s what the tyrant had to say to the Dalai Lama! We can setup a separate debate and not reach any consensus on this subject. But to me he might be a great statesman, politician, philosopher or whatever. It all makes no sense when he doesn’t show a little compassion to a fellow human being and show some respect to the religious sentiments of a community. Now after all these years, the entire struggle stands not for obtaining independence! All that they ask for is the military troops to be withdrawn and to be honored with a complete autonomy.

The world looks up to CHINA when they showcase all their might in the Olympics or when they pull off to become the world’s second largest economy. But all that couldn’t take them far enough. After all that they have done to the people of Tibet and to its own they wouldn’t really sustain even if they happen to become a super power. The world has seen enough history of what happened to countries that ruled its people on a gunpoint. Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin all led their countries to the peak just to bring them the greatest downfall. But unlike a single dictator, things are a little different here. Yet if the government continues to do what it does, there would be a new addition to the list of bygone eras! Probably in the next century china would be remembered as a land of great tradition, that lost all its color to become blood red, of the communist party. Just like what happened to Germany and Russia!!

The country’s ban has gone from freedom of speech, Internet/ Media content, Facebook, Twitter, Movies to a lot more. The latest was Time travel movies! Crazy isn't it? The government fears that the people would have nostalgia about their good old times if they were influenced by the movies! So they already know that their rule is a nightmare! Now there is literally no point for us even if the people cry with their larynx out!

So what is it that the Chinese government doesn’t realize? Of course it has done a commendable job in improving the lives of an ordinary citizen but the price that they have asked them to pay is quite high. Freedom is just as important as food, water, clothing and shelter to every human. So a common question arises to all of us. Is this the only way to treat the citizens to become progressive? Well… not really. The US, Australia, Japan and the countries from the EU have proved us otherwise. It might not be a perfect comparison especially with the size and population of china. But then all are humans and I guess that’s just enough to think of common grounds. A loaf of bread is as important to a Chinese as it is to a American! A better tomorrow awaits china and hope the 'Sun rises again in Tibet'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qx17F9_S3s